he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
