This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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