Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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