It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
