You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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