What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
