After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
