i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
