Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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