We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
