So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
