Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
