I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
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