During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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