I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You had me at "let me see your balls"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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