There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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