I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
