I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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