I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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