He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
