Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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