I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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