I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just had sex on a roof
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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