im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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