the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
