Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
