And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize