What a fucking waste of an outfit
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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