Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
