Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
