This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
