We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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