So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
