..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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