I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
