Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
