The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How does it feel to date your dad?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
