Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
