I cockslap morals
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
