Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
