rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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