You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize