Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
