I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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