your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
