i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
