So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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