chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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