jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
