I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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