Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
