Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
too bad you live with your parents still
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
