i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
