I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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