Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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