I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize