Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
