so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
