whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
