In the future we'll all be gay
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
